Whilst I was on holiday I came across the debate about dementia on the car radio. Baroness Warlock feels that a lot of people with dementia would rather choose euthanasia than be dependent on their family.
When I see demented people they are usually too confused to realise that they are dependent on their family, and aren’t distressed by it. But people who aren’t demented are distressed by the thought that they will be dependent. Though by the time comes that those with dementia are dependent they generally aren’t distressed themselves. It’s the fear of being dependent that means a lot of people would want euthanasia.
I have an interest in this, so much of our routine day to day work in a hospital is looking after the old and the frail, who very often have memory problems. They are more likely to fall ill than those of us who are not old and frail, and having dementia doesn’t help.
There are certain inevitable in this life. Taxes are one, death is another. I know more about one than the other.
Death is what happens at the end of life. Dying prematurely is bad. Dying when you are old is also not nice, but somewhat inevitable. Preventing premature death, preventing motherless children, and childless parents is the main victory of medicine. Thanks to medicine many people live into their 90s. Last week I saw a man of 86 who I suspected had cancer, he was otherwise well, and would probably be suitable for aggressive treatment, which may extend his life for another 6 years or so. I often met people who tell me that they aim to have retired for as many years as they worked: start work as a graduate at 20, retire at 60, and die at 100. Not common, but certainly not impossible these days.
Now there are two certain things in life, death and taxes, and there are two certain things about death. Either you will die prematurely, or you will die at your natural age, which is probably now 90 to be honest. You may die suddenly and violently, or you may die slowly.
Most people who die at their natural age are dependent on younger people to care for them for a few years before hand. This is the natural way of life. You are young, your parents care for you, you have children, you care for them, your parents are ill, you care for them, you become ill, your children care for you. Why shouldn’t they- you cared for them when they were young, and you cared for your parents when they were old. Now you are old they should care for you.
What a lot of people cite as reason for euphanasia in dementia is that they don’t want to be a burden on their family. They don’t want to be dependent on other people -
I think this is the fault of our generation. A lot of us haven’t realised that our parents will get ill, and we plan our lives assuming that they won’t need caring for.
We make decisions in our lives that mean it that when our parents need taking care of it is difficult for us to take care of them.
We decide to move abroad, or far away from our parents. Often all the siblings will move away, not even discussing with each other how they will care for their parents if they needed care. Why should we? we want to persude our dreams and why should our famlies hold us back?
We get mortgages that are so high that both halves of a couple have to work long hours. But these are for houses for ourselves to live in, not for our parents to live in. We don’t want our parents to live with us, that would be inconvient.
We know when we decide how and where to live that our parents will get old, and may need taking care of. But we don’t expect it, and it comes as a surprise when they do.
Yes the state can help to take care of elderly people, but it’s a back up. It should be there to take care of elderly people who have no family, or who such difficult care needs that the family can’t manage to look after them at home.
But time and again I see people who go into care homes, when all they need is very simple care, that wouldn’t need a trained nurse. They just can’t live alone, but they could live with a family if there was was a family who would take them in.
I think the young have a duty to take care of the old, in the way that parents have a duty to take care of children. And I think by and large our generation are not furfilling our duty. If we were elderly people wouldn’t be requesting euthanasia as an alternative to being taken care of by us.




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